"Infidelity" – thought borrowed from a friend
There is no word called "fidelity", human body and mind is designed in a way that it will get attracted to the opposite sex more than once. "Infidelity" is a word coined or innovated by two psychological beings called a "man" and "woman". Love, Marriage and Sex are three independent activities or things. However, over a period, the institution called Marriage has been politically, theoretically and democratically abused. In order to protect human beings from "infidelity" (which of course does not exist), people creatively brought two individuals together into a web called "marriage" and when one is in "marriage" a social norm, directive - man and woman have to perform certain activities that entails duties of a lifetime. A topic - very debatable, there are definite advantages and disadvantages.
Currently, "marriage" is in decline; a trend supported by generation now. The demo graphical or statistical index is not the point, the point is there is acceptance to this change in the mind of every individual (at least the youth today). If you closely dissect "marriage" - it is imperfect; as the world is swiftly running towards a perfected world (technology, computers, 3D's, satellites etc); soon youth will find it difficult to cope with something as imperfect as marriage - never know, the world can embrace something imperfect in a thoroughly perfect world - because its boring!!!
Take a look at mythological stories, history and our great great grand in-inheritance, polygamy is portrayed very well. Except for Draupadi, there are no other polyandry stories.
So talking about "love-making", as earlier said, if one does not have sex, then it is boiled down to only one thing called "infidelity". And what a best way to accuse a person than this. It is very easy to clean up a place and very difficult to maintain that place clean! Unless people who want it clean at the beginning of the week, dirty during the week and cleaning up at the end of the week-end.
Sharada in the process of cleaning up, she was taking into her all the dirt spread around her. Dipped in dirt, all she could do was wash herself again and again, failing to clean the dirt thrown at her.
Jai's intentions were always conspicuous. On the exterior he was the best husband in the world and in the interior he was completely detached. Sharada knew the brush, paste, soap, brand of clothes, ties, shoes, bags, specs, food, colour, odour, oil, bullet - bike, cars, Germany and their tennis players, actors, every little thing that Jai liked or used. On the contrary Jai a detached soul that he was had no clue about Sharada. On special occasions “acknowledgments” were more like an obligation than willingness.
Sharada never questioned Jai when he spent the entire day at his friend's place, or made certain remarks on people who were innocent, sometimes his rationale went on to hit her parents - that even was okay. Sharada was deaf, dumb and blind. She heard only what Jai said, spoke what he wanted her to say and saw everything that he made her see. It is difficult to relate to someone like Sharada- so giving and loving.
Jai was completely unaware of instances at home, whether its his mother, father or any distant cousin. His callous approach to have six or seven friends in the house only to be served 100 to 200 rotis any part of the day was another welcome note in the family. The faith was remarkable, Sharada learnt only to give - time, energy, youth and her money.
The group of friends remained common for Sharada and Jai; that was a reason for Sharada to venture out new friends. She wanted somebody she could share and completely neutral who could give directions. But that didnt seem to be working, as Jai found it easier to pick up and box this as unfaithful trait. Sharada had to resort to nothing but just withdraw.
A “man” conscious of his identity and image in the society, Jai obliged everyone by taking on to the next stage of manhood- “grihasta.” A shrewd mind that knew opposition will ruin his representation in the family. Married and yet didnt know the meaning of marriage. His sharp mind, quick to assess Sharada’s weakness, played games of which the portrayal was genuine but was well planned. It was only a matter of convenience when he convinced Sharada that love-making was not on cards, its best to give time for settlement. An obedient Sharada followed his words. For many such years, Sharada’s brain had stopped working and agreed to everything Jai said. In marriage physical intimacy is an extension of feelings, but when there are no feelings, what can one do?
Donning a role that Sharada understood of a "wife" seemed to be not working; a change after four years, posing to fight the right for information act was not taken well. Its a weird transformation. When questions started pouring in, it was again a matter of convenience for Jai to blame it all on Sharada. Sharada was now trying to don and take control of Jai as a wife, it was too late. By the time Sharada wanted to take up that role, Jai had moved away, accusing her as an abnormal being and not able to make him a father. Shattered, blown apart and broken Sharada when wanted to explain there was no one to hear. Love can also become hypocritic, it kills you because it makes you what you dont want to be. Jai was an expert in shielding; nobody knew his relationship outside of marriage.
An astute and intelligent mind always knows how to play games with the other mind. Praising a woman’ beauty is a beautiful thing but if the same is done to put one down it becomes a plot/ a scheme/ a manipulation. Sharada an innocent mind was filled with complexities when it came to her beauty. This facet of her was always a subject of continuous criticism. Twisting words to one’s favour is indeed an art, an art which is either present by birth or aquired with experience. Former is applicable with Jai, as he always knew this marriage was not meant to be worked on and cleverly used Sharada’s vulnerability to his interest.
An excuse to Sharada’s advancements and queries would usually be a topic diverted towards “how there are other things important than a personal life”, “how a friend’s wife looked” or “dressed”. It was better than saying “ you dont attract me” “you are overweight” and so on. And if Sharada tried to discuss change of appearance, it was a taboo.
A caged bird, Sharada was just a prey to his intentions and all her actions were eventually controlled by Jai.
"Irony" an ideal word, lets encapsulate, a case where two individuals fall head over heals and get married with a large number of witnesses but their wedding is not legally registered. They live a perfect married life with their extended family and don responsibilities as householders, however do not consummate the marriage. Reality started glaring Sharada, she was standing alone at the airport only to see Jai fly away into a world where she could not reach. Sharada had nothing to be legalized to get separated and no hard feelings to be addressed as a divorcee....she stayed all through "single"...a journey started that ended in 6 years straight......
Questions like what happened to her studies? where were her parents? what happened to in-laws? If Jai had anything to do with this? Or what was he doing all the while?......the answer is straight, it remains unanswered. Sharada only whispered to herself - "Jai you could have told me the truth"
There is no word called "fidelity", human body and mind is designed in a way that it will get attracted to the opposite sex more than once. "Infidelity" is a word coined or innovated by two psychological beings called a "man" and "woman". Love, Marriage and Sex are three independent activities or things. However, over a period, the institution called Marriage has been politically, theoretically and democratically abused. In order to protect human beings from "infidelity" (which of course does not exist), people creatively brought two individuals together into a web called "marriage" and when one is in "marriage" a social norm, directive - man and woman have to perform certain activities that entails duties of a lifetime. A topic - very debatable, there are definite advantages and disadvantages.
Currently, "marriage" is in decline; a trend supported by generation now. The demo graphical or statistical index is not the point, the point is there is acceptance to this change in the mind of every individual (at least the youth today). If you closely dissect "marriage" - it is imperfect; as the world is swiftly running towards a perfected world (technology, computers, 3D's, satellites etc); soon youth will find it difficult to cope with something as imperfect as marriage - never know, the world can embrace something imperfect in a thoroughly perfect world - because its boring!!!
Take a look at mythological stories, history and our great great grand in-inheritance, polygamy is portrayed very well. Except for Draupadi, there are no other polyandry stories.
So talking about "love-making", as earlier said, if one does not have sex, then it is boiled down to only one thing called "infidelity". And what a best way to accuse a person than this. It is very easy to clean up a place and very difficult to maintain that place clean! Unless people who want it clean at the beginning of the week, dirty during the week and cleaning up at the end of the week-end.
Sharada in the process of cleaning up, she was taking into her all the dirt spread around her. Dipped in dirt, all she could do was wash herself again and again, failing to clean the dirt thrown at her.
Jai's intentions were always conspicuous. On the exterior he was the best husband in the world and in the interior he was completely detached. Sharada knew the brush, paste, soap, brand of clothes, ties, shoes, bags, specs, food, colour, odour, oil, bullet - bike, cars, Germany and their tennis players, actors, every little thing that Jai liked or used. On the contrary Jai a detached soul that he was had no clue about Sharada. On special occasions “acknowledgments” were more like an obligation than willingness.
Sharada never questioned Jai when he spent the entire day at his friend's place, or made certain remarks on people who were innocent, sometimes his rationale went on to hit her parents - that even was okay. Sharada was deaf, dumb and blind. She heard only what Jai said, spoke what he wanted her to say and saw everything that he made her see. It is difficult to relate to someone like Sharada- so giving and loving.
Jai was completely unaware of instances at home, whether its his mother, father or any distant cousin. His callous approach to have six or seven friends in the house only to be served 100 to 200 rotis any part of the day was another welcome note in the family. The faith was remarkable, Sharada learnt only to give - time, energy, youth and her money.
The group of friends remained common for Sharada and Jai; that was a reason for Sharada to venture out new friends. She wanted somebody she could share and completely neutral who could give directions. But that didnt seem to be working, as Jai found it easier to pick up and box this as unfaithful trait. Sharada had to resort to nothing but just withdraw.
A “man” conscious of his identity and image in the society, Jai obliged everyone by taking on to the next stage of manhood- “grihasta.” A shrewd mind that knew opposition will ruin his representation in the family. Married and yet didnt know the meaning of marriage. His sharp mind, quick to assess Sharada’s weakness, played games of which the portrayal was genuine but was well planned. It was only a matter of convenience when he convinced Sharada that love-making was not on cards, its best to give time for settlement. An obedient Sharada followed his words. For many such years, Sharada’s brain had stopped working and agreed to everything Jai said. In marriage physical intimacy is an extension of feelings, but when there are no feelings, what can one do?
Donning a role that Sharada understood of a "wife" seemed to be not working; a change after four years, posing to fight the right for information act was not taken well. Its a weird transformation. When questions started pouring in, it was again a matter of convenience for Jai to blame it all on Sharada. Sharada was now trying to don and take control of Jai as a wife, it was too late. By the time Sharada wanted to take up that role, Jai had moved away, accusing her as an abnormal being and not able to make him a father. Shattered, blown apart and broken Sharada when wanted to explain there was no one to hear. Love can also become hypocritic, it kills you because it makes you what you dont want to be. Jai was an expert in shielding; nobody knew his relationship outside of marriage.
An astute and intelligent mind always knows how to play games with the other mind. Praising a woman’ beauty is a beautiful thing but if the same is done to put one down it becomes a plot/ a scheme/ a manipulation. Sharada an innocent mind was filled with complexities when it came to her beauty. This facet of her was always a subject of continuous criticism. Twisting words to one’s favour is indeed an art, an art which is either present by birth or aquired with experience. Former is applicable with Jai, as he always knew this marriage was not meant to be worked on and cleverly used Sharada’s vulnerability to his interest.
An excuse to Sharada’s advancements and queries would usually be a topic diverted towards “how there are other things important than a personal life”, “how a friend’s wife looked” or “dressed”. It was better than saying “ you dont attract me” “you are overweight” and so on. And if Sharada tried to discuss change of appearance, it was a taboo.
A caged bird, Sharada was just a prey to his intentions and all her actions were eventually controlled by Jai.
"Irony" an ideal word, lets encapsulate, a case where two individuals fall head over heals and get married with a large number of witnesses but their wedding is not legally registered. They live a perfect married life with their extended family and don responsibilities as householders, however do not consummate the marriage. Reality started glaring Sharada, she was standing alone at the airport only to see Jai fly away into a world where she could not reach. Sharada had nothing to be legalized to get separated and no hard feelings to be addressed as a divorcee....she stayed all through "single"...a journey started that ended in 6 years straight......
Questions like what happened to her studies? where were her parents? what happened to in-laws? If Jai had anything to do with this? Or what was he doing all the while?......the answer is straight, it remains unanswered. Sharada only whispered to herself - "Jai you could have told me the truth"
Just can't blv tht Jai could do this to Sharada.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere something is unfair.
Well written...