Try playing a song on windows media player; some colourful animated lines glide on the monitor; they sometimes go rhythmically with the song or they have been seen to be digitized intelligently that one feels it is dancing to the tunes....strangely it also makes you feel very disturbed.
Sharada's admissions were pronounced, and she was through with her part in the first innings of the relationship. She had moved out then never to come back. But the second innings was shouldered by Anirudh. It was getting difficult for him, as it was evident he was controlling the threads.
Things are getting visually clear that this was not about two individuals, it was about two generations in a relationship. A boy who is straight seven years younger than a woman; both came from different school of thoughts that intersect each other, however do not meet.
Sharada's mental state of mind was moving exactly like those digital waves on the computer screens. It is very difficult to comprehend and analyse that what happens between two people when only one is talking about it. The truth was - only Sharada was talking about it and Anirudh was in the oblivion. Two definite things happen in a journey of love. One, you love and cherish moments. Two, you don't love and conceal guilt.
Anirudh was waiting for one event to nail Sharada, but unfortunately every such incident happened Sharada remained unaware of his intentions. Unlike her younger days Sharada was not naive, but she was still very vulnerable. Grey areas were acceptable for her, but black and white in a relationship was very important. Unfortunately, Anirudh's intentions never materialized, because he continued damaging beyond repair.
There were three instances when Anirudh became physically violent on Sharada. Sharada in her defense would destruct her own self. The reasons behind all physical hurts were very trivial, but Anirudh's reasoning would be exaggerated, sometimes posed as Sharada's folly. Before Sharada could confront and take a decision about him, Anirudh would fall on her feet and apologize. Anirudh had shared that his mother was also a recipient of such actions. Sharada only empathised that Anirudh was doing everything that he is not and Sharada just could not take it. Anirudh's "love was incredible but "hate" was unbelievably turbulent. And the times when such incidents happen, whatsoever, Anirudh would not bear the drift. Sharada sometimes intentionally stayed away but then it would hurt him even more. The one way theory - "Sharada was supposed to forgive him because it was him".
A man wants to see his mother in his wife; and here was a man who acknowledged Sharada exactly like his mother; from food to silence. But sealed his mouth, mind and heart to accept her in the way he had conceived. Anirudh sprinkled all "expectations to grow" in Sharada's mind, but as said this is only one way theory. It was not acceptable for Sharada to expect.
Anirudh made Sharada believe everything but what she was. Anirudh had completely taken over Sharada's senses - mental, emotional and physical. Sharada allowed it and he kept entering in without walls. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months as passed; Sharada and Anirudh could not find an answer to their relationship. But as lovers, they did spend time meeting eachother, travelling, watching movies, ideating, fighting, laughing, playing, making love, sharing all the low's and highs etc.
Sharada's emotional responsibility by choice was literally a little overdone. How could one being a woman do this but yes Sharada did this as well. She encouraged Anirudh of his photography skills and it was a meeting of mind sorts and just after their love making session, she stood nude for his creative satisfaction.
Raising of eyebrows? well truth always does. Honestly if one looks at it, its just between two people who love each other, there is nothing wrong. Sharada and Anirudh did it with choice and without any guilt. The pictures were published but only in a private gallery of creative people. Sharada never argued this or find fault with Anirudh, for her this was something between them. But then there are always hidden agendas.
One may write this off as a case of psychological disorder, difference in frequency, one sided emotion, sex, guilt between people, cheap and many such things. But the truth, it was very intelligent. Truth, it was very intelligent.
Sharada and Anirudh, an ocean of many emotions, which they wanted to share yet could not and all the tides and waves on the way hit them. Sometimes they wanted to see things emotionally, sometimes rationally, sometimes neutrally, sometimes guiltily....point is, all the methods used between them was not discussed, those were independent of eachother. One wanted to stay and the other did not want to stay. One understood where it was going and the other ensured it was not evident. One was a thinker and one was a doer. The difference was - it had an impact on the other.
Sharada thought again, So much for "love".
Some guests enter without invitations and guests are supposed to be gods. Once again a divine intervention. A beautiful month of September, early morning just before Sharada's birthday the "Velocit strip" showed two colored bands stating POSITIVE.
Sharada's admissions were pronounced, and she was through with her part in the first innings of the relationship. She had moved out then never to come back. But the second innings was shouldered by Anirudh. It was getting difficult for him, as it was evident he was controlling the threads.
Things are getting visually clear that this was not about two individuals, it was about two generations in a relationship. A boy who is straight seven years younger than a woman; both came from different school of thoughts that intersect each other, however do not meet.
Sharada's mental state of mind was moving exactly like those digital waves on the computer screens. It is very difficult to comprehend and analyse that what happens between two people when only one is talking about it. The truth was - only Sharada was talking about it and Anirudh was in the oblivion. Two definite things happen in a journey of love. One, you love and cherish moments. Two, you don't love and conceal guilt.
Anirudh was waiting for one event to nail Sharada, but unfortunately every such incident happened Sharada remained unaware of his intentions. Unlike her younger days Sharada was not naive, but she was still very vulnerable. Grey areas were acceptable for her, but black and white in a relationship was very important. Unfortunately, Anirudh's intentions never materialized, because he continued damaging beyond repair.
There were three instances when Anirudh became physically violent on Sharada. Sharada in her defense would destruct her own self. The reasons behind all physical hurts were very trivial, but Anirudh's reasoning would be exaggerated, sometimes posed as Sharada's folly. Before Sharada could confront and take a decision about him, Anirudh would fall on her feet and apologize. Anirudh had shared that his mother was also a recipient of such actions. Sharada only empathised that Anirudh was doing everything that he is not and Sharada just could not take it. Anirudh's "love was incredible but "hate" was unbelievably turbulent. And the times when such incidents happen, whatsoever, Anirudh would not bear the drift. Sharada sometimes intentionally stayed away but then it would hurt him even more. The one way theory - "Sharada was supposed to forgive him because it was him".
A man wants to see his mother in his wife; and here was a man who acknowledged Sharada exactly like his mother; from food to silence. But sealed his mouth, mind and heart to accept her in the way he had conceived. Anirudh sprinkled all "expectations to grow" in Sharada's mind, but as said this is only one way theory. It was not acceptable for Sharada to expect.
Anirudh made Sharada believe everything but what she was. Anirudh had completely taken over Sharada's senses - mental, emotional and physical. Sharada allowed it and he kept entering in without walls. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months as passed; Sharada and Anirudh could not find an answer to their relationship. But as lovers, they did spend time meeting eachother, travelling, watching movies, ideating, fighting, laughing, playing, making love, sharing all the low's and highs etc.
Sharada's emotional responsibility by choice was literally a little overdone. How could one being a woman do this but yes Sharada did this as well. She encouraged Anirudh of his photography skills and it was a meeting of mind sorts and just after their love making session, she stood nude for his creative satisfaction.
Raising of eyebrows? well truth always does. Honestly if one looks at it, its just between two people who love each other, there is nothing wrong. Sharada and Anirudh did it with choice and without any guilt. The pictures were published but only in a private gallery of creative people. Sharada never argued this or find fault with Anirudh, for her this was something between them. But then there are always hidden agendas.
One may write this off as a case of psychological disorder, difference in frequency, one sided emotion, sex, guilt between people, cheap and many such things. But the truth, it was very intelligent. Truth, it was very intelligent.
Sharada and Anirudh, an ocean of many emotions, which they wanted to share yet could not and all the tides and waves on the way hit them. Sometimes they wanted to see things emotionally, sometimes rationally, sometimes neutrally, sometimes guiltily....point is, all the methods used between them was not discussed, those were independent of eachother. One wanted to stay and the other did not want to stay. One understood where it was going and the other ensured it was not evident. One was a thinker and one was a doer. The difference was - it had an impact on the other.
Sharada thought again, So much for "love".
Some guests enter without invitations and guests are supposed to be gods. Once again a divine intervention. A beautiful month of September, early morning just before Sharada's birthday the "Velocit strip" showed two colored bands stating POSITIVE.
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