Pregnant emotions; Sharada had conceived a feeling for Anirudh, which of she could not abort nor grow. But she ensured this not coming between their second innings. Anirudh constantly chided her against those feelings only to perhaps reassure himself or kill hope in her. Sharada was not sure if Anirudh had a question, doubt or happiness about the feeling she stored for him. Sharada stay unperturbed because it wasn't a matter of worry anymore. She chose to do certain things intentionally and self denial became the order of the day. Once bitten twice shy, Sharada clearly performed it with perfection, "manasa, vacha, karmana" she stood clean. A mentor and friend.
Having won an international award for the best designer from France and a fairy tale fly meet with Diya in the US, Anirudh was flying high in his career and life. Privacy was visibly seen, Diya was never a point of conversation. Sharada's indulgence stay till she was asked to, an unbiased reasoning for everything right, however, there was no compromises during proud moments, a time and "news" worthy of sharing and celebrating. Six months sailed only for the monsoons to shower them. July-end and an approaching August, two days away.
Anirudh and Sharada stood drenched on the road just about 5 kms away from Sharada's apartment. They wanted the heavy downpour to subside before moving ahead. A hidden pothole, slightly big and protruding dangered two-wheelers. The bigger vehicles made their way easily but bikes, because of the rains kept skidding. Sharada's focus shifted when the count reached five, however, Anirudh continued his not so important conversation. This time she became vociferous only to see if anyone in the crowd could come forward. Anirudh though acknowledged the situation but his pace to act was rationalised by giving it time, to see if somebody initiated. He was visibly discouraging Sharada to step forward.
"Just for people who undergo a similar situation, bet that there will be divine interventions to rest chaos of the mind and attend crisis and Yes this is where God exists" (anbe shivam - God is love). A few men around, inspite of the rains, came forward to salvage. A night ever remembered by Sharada, a smile that said one important thing "Thank God". However, that night was even more gracious to her personally.
Anirudh noticed that Sharada looked different in the longest time, or perhaps this was the longest time he had set eyes on her. His compliments for the day poured in. The kindness is one, Sharada a woman, did slip for his beautiful words. Sometimes reasoning does not work, its about chemical changes in the body and mind. That night waiting, drenched all over with her open wet hair, Anirudh tickled romance. Keeping her feet firm, Sharada's eyes re-diverted to the skies, time was fleeting. At around ten, they slowly moved, only to be caught again by rains but this time they did not stop.
Sharada offered Anirudh a cover, distances never matter when two people engage out in the evenings, he had a long way to go back and definitely it is in no man's capacity to end up in pneumonia. Sharada gave options, as she looked out for a warm ski / sweater or a raincoat. The house was not so big and Anirudh was not invited in, just about at the door. The room divisions were like compartments, and everytime Sharada kept coming out to show him options.
It was so quick, no thoughts that could trespass in fractions, Anirudh pulled Sharada into a smooch for a very long time, releasing became difficult because this time Sharada felt his arms were tight and would not let her go. And a bonus when one yearns for it, Sharada with lot of struggle reciprocated it. Fifteen minutes of bliss, eyes closed, it was only the lips, which were talking to eachother. There was no other movement, just the warm breathing. When they released, Sharada was shy, confused; Anirudh was holding and forcing her eyes straight into him. They just smiled, for a change without guilt. They desperately wanted it but they didn't do it, Anirudh picked up his cover and left the place with a peck on her cheeks. This was the beginning of sleepless nights, something like love.
They didn't discuss any, it was very blind, like "lovers" they started a season of spring. This time there were no words, it was felt, understood and communicated. A mature yet very childish relationship, long conversations over phone didn't seem to be "senseless", the tone, the longing, the demand everything was right. Sharada didn't want to go wrong and Anirudh was doing everything right. For some people dreams come true, and for Anirudh a call from Germany to work with a top brand and designer came as a surprise. Sharada was very happy, she joined Anirudh in his decisions to realise his dreams. Anirudh got busy with all the formalities.
Buying a travel bag compliant for flight travel was topping his "to do" list, Sharada suggested him places and offered to help him. They discussed and decided to take it. They set to one of busiest bazaars and took about two hours to select. In these cases, Anirudh was more like a woman. Sharada was actually getting bored. Just one thought entered her mind "creative or confused". They dumped it at his place and started preparations for packing, as meticulous as always, Sharada took over the reigns. Conversations and more conversations, Anirudh's voice dipped only to acknowledge, there was no desperation, it was so gradual, the indulgence was not lust, every touch and move was magical, Sharada flowed in only to get submerged. The act had an eternal feeling at the same time a lot of pain, "pain of body". Anirudh in private was a man, autocratic. His boyish demanding nature was only for external fraternity. It was "start to finish", Anirudh lay on bed with tears in his eyes, Sharada lost her virginity.
A week passed, and Anirudh confided to Sharada about Diya. There were issues between them, the ten day trip to USA, a proposal in the form of an engagement ring fell flat on his face. Diya was emotionally tore between her parents, Anirudh, distance and religion. Differences cropped, in an attempt to find solace, Diya cheated on Anirudh. Diya's honesty after that became an issue between them. Anirudh felt "it was not worth a love of sacrifice, however, perfect" He still loved her but there was no future to it. Papers to Germany paced swiftly and also proximity between Sharada and Anirudh in all levels.
Sharada on the other hand was getting stumbled at office, there were issues and fixing it was getting out of control. Her worries grew as the days came closer; Anirudh will be gone, her work was getting instable, her mother needed attention for undergoing chronic illness; the mind was getting bombarded.
A conversation with Anirudh to go for a movie turned out to be the scariest psychological disturbance for Sharada. A simple query lead to something, which was unexpected of. One part of Anirudh was also this, he liked kneading, it was like adding water to a dough, it would roll and roll shifting its base. Now Sharada was the dough. Buying a movie ticket ended in Anirudh accusing of Sharada to have tricked him into an act of sex. He accused of manipulation and some words that Sharada would not remember. His questions troubled her, he knew she was a virgin at the first time but her act of boldness on bed; provoked him chiding her experience with anybody else. Sharada carried the "tissue paper" wrapped in blood for some time in her bag, only to be so accused of something as pure as this.
This was the first bad conversation they had in about a month. Sharada made up her mind to stop this forever, she ran upto him at the theatre with lot of firmness only to see something awaiting for her. Anirudh put his arms around and said, "cwmon I was joking"
Sharada could not understand the shift, but tears rolled down her cheeks only to be wiped by Anirudh.
Sharada, dedicated and confident with shining eyes, never knew the term, normally called lies; unchallenged and unflincing in every mood she stood. She taught everyone how important it is not to brood and she was proud to call herself to be owned by him.
Women, they can understand things only the way they want to understand. Love just blinds them. They don't see what is coming.
Having won an international award for the best designer from France and a fairy tale fly meet with Diya in the US, Anirudh was flying high in his career and life. Privacy was visibly seen, Diya was never a point of conversation. Sharada's indulgence stay till she was asked to, an unbiased reasoning for everything right, however, there was no compromises during proud moments, a time and "news" worthy of sharing and celebrating. Six months sailed only for the monsoons to shower them. July-end and an approaching August, two days away.
Anirudh and Sharada stood drenched on the road just about 5 kms away from Sharada's apartment. They wanted the heavy downpour to subside before moving ahead. A hidden pothole, slightly big and protruding dangered two-wheelers. The bigger vehicles made their way easily but bikes, because of the rains kept skidding. Sharada's focus shifted when the count reached five, however, Anirudh continued his not so important conversation. This time she became vociferous only to see if anyone in the crowd could come forward. Anirudh though acknowledged the situation but his pace to act was rationalised by giving it time, to see if somebody initiated. He was visibly discouraging Sharada to step forward.
"Just for people who undergo a similar situation, bet that there will be divine interventions to rest chaos of the mind and attend crisis and Yes this is where God exists" (anbe shivam - God is love). A few men around, inspite of the rains, came forward to salvage. A night ever remembered by Sharada, a smile that said one important thing "Thank God". However, that night was even more gracious to her personally.
Anirudh noticed that Sharada looked different in the longest time, or perhaps this was the longest time he had set eyes on her. His compliments for the day poured in. The kindness is one, Sharada a woman, did slip for his beautiful words. Sometimes reasoning does not work, its about chemical changes in the body and mind. That night waiting, drenched all over with her open wet hair, Anirudh tickled romance. Keeping her feet firm, Sharada's eyes re-diverted to the skies, time was fleeting. At around ten, they slowly moved, only to be caught again by rains but this time they did not stop.
Sharada offered Anirudh a cover, distances never matter when two people engage out in the evenings, he had a long way to go back and definitely it is in no man's capacity to end up in pneumonia. Sharada gave options, as she looked out for a warm ski / sweater or a raincoat. The house was not so big and Anirudh was not invited in, just about at the door. The room divisions were like compartments, and everytime Sharada kept coming out to show him options.
It was so quick, no thoughts that could trespass in fractions, Anirudh pulled Sharada into a smooch for a very long time, releasing became difficult because this time Sharada felt his arms were tight and would not let her go. And a bonus when one yearns for it, Sharada with lot of struggle reciprocated it. Fifteen minutes of bliss, eyes closed, it was only the lips, which were talking to eachother. There was no other movement, just the warm breathing. When they released, Sharada was shy, confused; Anirudh was holding and forcing her eyes straight into him. They just smiled, for a change without guilt. They desperately wanted it but they didn't do it, Anirudh picked up his cover and left the place with a peck on her cheeks. This was the beginning of sleepless nights, something like love.
They didn't discuss any, it was very blind, like "lovers" they started a season of spring. This time there were no words, it was felt, understood and communicated. A mature yet very childish relationship, long conversations over phone didn't seem to be "senseless", the tone, the longing, the demand everything was right. Sharada didn't want to go wrong and Anirudh was doing everything right. For some people dreams come true, and for Anirudh a call from Germany to work with a top brand and designer came as a surprise. Sharada was very happy, she joined Anirudh in his decisions to realise his dreams. Anirudh got busy with all the formalities.
Buying a travel bag compliant for flight travel was topping his "to do" list, Sharada suggested him places and offered to help him. They discussed and decided to take it. They set to one of busiest bazaars and took about two hours to select. In these cases, Anirudh was more like a woman. Sharada was actually getting bored. Just one thought entered her mind "creative or confused". They dumped it at his place and started preparations for packing, as meticulous as always, Sharada took over the reigns. Conversations and more conversations, Anirudh's voice dipped only to acknowledge, there was no desperation, it was so gradual, the indulgence was not lust, every touch and move was magical, Sharada flowed in only to get submerged. The act had an eternal feeling at the same time a lot of pain, "pain of body". Anirudh in private was a man, autocratic. His boyish demanding nature was only for external fraternity. It was "start to finish", Anirudh lay on bed with tears in his eyes, Sharada lost her virginity.
A week passed, and Anirudh confided to Sharada about Diya. There were issues between them, the ten day trip to USA, a proposal in the form of an engagement ring fell flat on his face. Diya was emotionally tore between her parents, Anirudh, distance and religion. Differences cropped, in an attempt to find solace, Diya cheated on Anirudh. Diya's honesty after that became an issue between them. Anirudh felt "it was not worth a love of sacrifice, however, perfect" He still loved her but there was no future to it. Papers to Germany paced swiftly and also proximity between Sharada and Anirudh in all levels.
Sharada on the other hand was getting stumbled at office, there were issues and fixing it was getting out of control. Her worries grew as the days came closer; Anirudh will be gone, her work was getting instable, her mother needed attention for undergoing chronic illness; the mind was getting bombarded.
A conversation with Anirudh to go for a movie turned out to be the scariest psychological disturbance for Sharada. A simple query lead to something, which was unexpected of. One part of Anirudh was also this, he liked kneading, it was like adding water to a dough, it would roll and roll shifting its base. Now Sharada was the dough. Buying a movie ticket ended in Anirudh accusing of Sharada to have tricked him into an act of sex. He accused of manipulation and some words that Sharada would not remember. His questions troubled her, he knew she was a virgin at the first time but her act of boldness on bed; provoked him chiding her experience with anybody else. Sharada carried the "tissue paper" wrapped in blood for some time in her bag, only to be so accused of something as pure as this.
This was the first bad conversation they had in about a month. Sharada made up her mind to stop this forever, she ran upto him at the theatre with lot of firmness only to see something awaiting for her. Anirudh put his arms around and said, "cwmon I was joking"
Sharada could not understand the shift, but tears rolled down her cheeks only to be wiped by Anirudh.
Sharada, dedicated and confident with shining eyes, never knew the term, normally called lies; unchallenged and unflincing in every mood she stood. She taught everyone how important it is not to brood and she was proud to call herself to be owned by him.
Women, they can understand things only the way they want to understand. Love just blinds them. They don't see what is coming.
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