Responsibilities were companions, some destined to Sharada in the domestic front and some taken by choice. The journey had started at the age of 17 +... was still on. Academic qualification never hindered her mettle at work, growth was significant and perhaps god's idea of balancing lives. Grandmother secretly admired Sharada for having achieved this rank in her professional life and also fulfilling her dream of flying abroad on work and holiday. Anirudh became a responsibility of her emotional choice.
When dream cream Germany went down in the drain; Anirudh's career graph hit a speed breaker including a messed up love life. Similarly Sharada's emotional imbalances - an ailing mother; an ambiguous love life; stress at work leading to low productivity affected her. She called it sabbatical, in reality priorities had changed. When money as a source hits a roadblock, philosophies come handy in a relationship and play a concealing role.
"Germany" was the culprit. Fear of blaming two people in a relationship, a geographical place becomes a convenient scape goat.
The serendipity of Anirudh realizing his dreams in Germany would have left Sharada with very little options. Their relationship would have survived with memories of "moments" shared by them with personal conversations replaced by emails and long distance calls. Easy aint easy to live in serendipity, destiny plays wonderful mind games.
Anirudh lost out on Germany and could not get rid of Sharada. Sharada loved Anirudh, she remained; and it gradually thickened by increased proximity every passing day. Complicating love or complications In love; both existed in this case. Sharada and Anirudh in their awareness had complicated things. Now they were picking strings that were complicated. It was a challenge to arrive at a meeting ground.
When one is on a move, it is a struggle to live the present, only to realise that it has become a past. Sharada and Anirudh had similar takes. Their happiness and sorrows were steadfast and moving parallely.
Anirudh's activities were Sharada's confusions. Diya's exit hurt him; he despised Diya's cheating, however continued to have conversations with her. Anirudh's frustration was "anger" and he let it out on Sharada. Sharada was vocal about disapproval or disappointments, however, in vain. Anirudh gave umpteen reasons for frictions and the one topped his list was that Sharada's existence between him & Diya. Was it fair? well versions are versions. When things hit the wall, he discovered & dropped lines at lenience: "Happiness in love, is to allow the person to do what he wants to do".
Sharada's un-expectations and un-conditionality were only an "ideal" statement for Anirudh. Any account of her actions; be it taking pains to travel everyday to meet him, cook food for him, spend money on him, spend time and share everything only to keep him happy was termed as "selfishness". Sharada had very little options to position herself in Anirudh's dictionary. The words of care like mother, words of concern like sister, words of love like lover, words of criticism or advise like a mentor stopped featuring in his lessons, as now Sharada was not a neutral person but somebody very intimate to him. Anirudh was comfortable with an element of mystery attached to his personality, whereas Sharada had the ability to see all the facets of his character and in order to prove Sharada wrong he did exactly things opposite and obviously wrong.
Diya's cheating was a subject of conversation, his rationale would be directed to the medical books - the biological requirement. Some shortfalls of long distance love stories, "bodily needs" forces one to indulge in sex leading to cracks in the relationship. The track looked like Anirudh was ready to forgive the instance and get back to Diya. Sharada did not oppose any of these things but was definitely flabbergasted when Anirudh persuaded or encouraged Sharada to fulfill her biological needs if she found someone outside of him.
His bold admissions about not being loyal or committed; to run into short affairs; defining sex as independent of love, etc. were beyond Sharada's comprehension. Sharada debated all his philosophies and theories; some she succumbed to and many were "culture shocks". Every time Sharada exited, Anirudh ensured to bring her back. Anirudh convinced Sharada that "her exiting out was not an honest one and parting ways was not a solution".
Here was a man who could not take Diya's deceit but it was okay for him if Sharada gets to deceit. A man who liked, had feelings and cared for Sharada but would not want to prove anything. Any attempts by Sharada to understand and stop complications were not welcome to Anirudh.
There were contradictions and more contradictions; philosophies and fresh philosophies; it was becoming a fight for retaining positions in a relationship. Anirudh maintained that he "liked" and did not "love" Sharada (btw, there is very little difference between "Ishtam"&"Sneham" in regional languages). Sharada maintained that he is not her "friend". Exiting out was not allowed, officing in was suffocating. Sharada's scissory aggressiveness was definitely not allowed, Anirudh controlled every bit of it.
It was like a "chakraviyu", you get into it then there is no option but death.
When dream cream Germany went down in the drain; Anirudh's career graph hit a speed breaker including a messed up love life. Similarly Sharada's emotional imbalances - an ailing mother; an ambiguous love life; stress at work leading to low productivity affected her. She called it sabbatical, in reality priorities had changed. When money as a source hits a roadblock, philosophies come handy in a relationship and play a concealing role.
"Germany" was the culprit. Fear of blaming two people in a relationship, a geographical place becomes a convenient scape goat.
The serendipity of Anirudh realizing his dreams in Germany would have left Sharada with very little options. Their relationship would have survived with memories of "moments" shared by them with personal conversations replaced by emails and long distance calls. Easy aint easy to live in serendipity, destiny plays wonderful mind games.
Anirudh lost out on Germany and could not get rid of Sharada. Sharada loved Anirudh, she remained; and it gradually thickened by increased proximity every passing day. Complicating love or complications In love; both existed in this case. Sharada and Anirudh in their awareness had complicated things. Now they were picking strings that were complicated. It was a challenge to arrive at a meeting ground.
When one is on a move, it is a struggle to live the present, only to realise that it has become a past. Sharada and Anirudh had similar takes. Their happiness and sorrows were steadfast and moving parallely.
Anirudh's activities were Sharada's confusions. Diya's exit hurt him; he despised Diya's cheating, however continued to have conversations with her. Anirudh's frustration was "anger" and he let it out on Sharada. Sharada was vocal about disapproval or disappointments, however, in vain. Anirudh gave umpteen reasons for frictions and the one topped his list was that Sharada's existence between him & Diya. Was it fair? well versions are versions. When things hit the wall, he discovered & dropped lines at lenience: "Happiness in love, is to allow the person to do what he wants to do".
Sharada's un-expectations and un-conditionality were only an "ideal" statement for Anirudh. Any account of her actions; be it taking pains to travel everyday to meet him, cook food for him, spend money on him, spend time and share everything only to keep him happy was termed as "selfishness". Sharada had very little options to position herself in Anirudh's dictionary. The words of care like mother, words of concern like sister, words of love like lover, words of criticism or advise like a mentor stopped featuring in his lessons, as now Sharada was not a neutral person but somebody very intimate to him. Anirudh was comfortable with an element of mystery attached to his personality, whereas Sharada had the ability to see all the facets of his character and in order to prove Sharada wrong he did exactly things opposite and obviously wrong.
Diya's cheating was a subject of conversation, his rationale would be directed to the medical books - the biological requirement. Some shortfalls of long distance love stories, "bodily needs" forces one to indulge in sex leading to cracks in the relationship. The track looked like Anirudh was ready to forgive the instance and get back to Diya. Sharada did not oppose any of these things but was definitely flabbergasted when Anirudh persuaded or encouraged Sharada to fulfill her biological needs if she found someone outside of him.
His bold admissions about not being loyal or committed; to run into short affairs; defining sex as independent of love, etc. were beyond Sharada's comprehension. Sharada debated all his philosophies and theories; some she succumbed to and many were "culture shocks". Every time Sharada exited, Anirudh ensured to bring her back. Anirudh convinced Sharada that "her exiting out was not an honest one and parting ways was not a solution".
Here was a man who could not take Diya's deceit but it was okay for him if Sharada gets to deceit. A man who liked, had feelings and cared for Sharada but would not want to prove anything. Any attempts by Sharada to understand and stop complications were not welcome to Anirudh.
There were contradictions and more contradictions; philosophies and fresh philosophies; it was becoming a fight for retaining positions in a relationship. Anirudh maintained that he "liked" and did not "love" Sharada (btw, there is very little difference between "Ishtam"&"Sneham" in regional languages). Sharada maintained that he is not her "friend". Exiting out was not allowed, officing in was suffocating. Sharada's scissory aggressiveness was definitely not allowed, Anirudh controlled every bit of it.
It was like a "chakraviyu", you get into it then there is no option but death.
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