Present 2010
Forgetfulness’ and time are interdependent. It is important to forget and only with time it happens. Sharada encountered within herself that she had forgotten some parts of her journey. Jai and Anirudh had same impact in her life; but the intensity was different. One was rotten and the other fresh. May be after ten long years at 45, this will be just a matter of the past. Unlike Jai, Anirudh will not be anywhere in the vicinity. But they both stay as long as Sharada stays.
Like a trend, on a positive note what did they both teach or leave behind; one grew her up and the other grew up with her; transition of a girl to a woman, and then a woman to a mother.
In the name of marriage – so unfulfilling; in the name of love – so fulfilling. Yet so “incomplete”; married yet not legalized; love yet so fake; a mother yet empty. Sharada was complete yet incomplete. Jai, was an encounter with slow poison. Anirudh, an encounter with danger. Sharada’s murderous journey of love. Jai and Anirudh – Rest in peace for now.
Grandmother owned a “thodu” – a diamond earring (the only one she had) and had decided to pass it on to Sharada; on the condition that Sharada gave her a grandson or a granddaughter. It never happened. Sharada hoped if grandmother was around she could communicate her apologies for not bringing “it” out into the world.
Sharada, her window and the village; this time the temple bells quivered her thoughts. It was 5 am, “Shivarathiri” had started, like every other festival, this too had its significance and kids had started writing “om namaha shivaya”, chanting slogans and the village was loud in a celebrating mood. They had to stay jagran the whole night and Sharada heard them all discussing the plans.
But for the house it was the beginning of a 13 day ceremonial mourning time, some had to leave and some would stay.
Sharada closed her window for one last time, not knowing when it would be open again. She draped her grandma’s nine yard sari along the same poles and took bath, this time there was no inhibitions or fear of honor. As she pleated and arranged her sari, Jai entered the room; like old times he helped her with the safety pin and kept talking to her about his travel plans. He wanted her to join them as they returned back. Sharada agreed to whatever he said.
The bags were packed, parents and relatives continued with their duties; no pressure whatsoever, Sharada didn’t have the mandate to stay back. She entered her paati’s room.
She touched all the things she liked about her grandmother, especially the books Ramayana, Mahabharata and Bhagvatham, her glasses that she used only while reading, all the pictures which she posed right, her “madisar puduvai”, small telephone index, address book and a pen. As Sharada prepared to turn around, her sari stuck under the pillow, as she removed it, she saw something shinning, on a close look, she realized it were the earrings. Sharada recalled that grandmother had whispered something into her ears “thodu” “thodu”, she mistook it to “touch” and Sharada kept touching her.
Tears just rolled her cheeks; she held it and kissed them intensely.
No comments:
Post a Comment